Think of this post as a jumping off point to shift your mindset towards your desired reality. In this post, I will introduce you to some key elements in making the surprisingly simple shifts that will alter your trajectory to put you on the path you desire.
Have you ever been worrying about solving a problem, and eventually decided to do something easy to get going in your day? Say, you decided to give up on the problem, and you went to the grocery store, or you made yourself a nice lunch. Have you noticed that sometimes when you let the problem go, that’s when the solution shows up? Whether it was in your own mind, or some outside source that you had no control over. The email shows up, you remember a contact that can help with what you’re sorting through, you stumble upon a book cover that finally sparks your creativity. Learning how to shift your mindset to a state of acceptance, grace and ease can be the thing that helps shape, not only your reality, but how you experience it.
I’ve heard it said one way or another - worrying about the future is a means to an end. Yes, of course, it is good to plan and try to prepare oneself, but there comes a point that we can’t predict every outcome, and we end up running around in circles in our own minds.
HERE ARE 5 WAYS TO SHIFT YOUR MINDSET INTO THE PRESENT MOMENT, OR TO LET MORE ACCEPTANCE AND EASE INTO YOUR LIFE:
I will be saying that a lot in this membership, but sometimes it is helpful to give a visual description for these methods. Our minds can sometimes end up tangled like a ball of string. Think of journaling as a way to take one end of the thread to sort out how to straighten that ball into a more tangible literal ‘string’ of thoughts. You might see more patterns or solutions than you would have realized if you had not written it all down. I am a big fan of what’s called a “brain dump” - where you just open up your journal and write down EVERYTHING that’s on your mind. (Even that random mug that you keep forgetting to bring to the kitchen sink.) It is then much easier to assign urgency, importance and even possibility once you have it all in a big list. Yes, it can also be overwhelming if you’re having one of those times in life when you might have a brain dump that goes on for several pages, but it will all get emptied out of your mind, leaving space to organize what’s in front of you.
DO SOMETHING FUN -
This might not always exactly be possible - if you have a deadline, if you’re doing a task that you particularly can’t stand, etc. But, if there is a way to turn what you’re doing into a bit of a game, or something your inner child might have enjoyed, this takes away much of the pressure and stress we put on ourselves as adults. If you have a free moment in your day, what would be the most fun thing you could do? And, this doesn’t have to be expensive either. If you have the finances to treat yourself to a glorious shopping trip, then go for it! But, even if you only have $2 to your name, could you treat yourself to a moment to enjoy a book or article you’ve been wanting to read? Or maybe going for a walk because the sun is finally shining this season. If organizing your closet to remember all the beautiful clothes you have feels like the right thing, then that’s what your soul is calling for. This is really about quieting your stressed out ‘survival mode’ brain, and tapping into your intuition and presence. In this moment, you are okay. Remind yourself that…. which brings me to tip 3 -
REMIND YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE OKAY IN THIS MOMENT -
Sometimes it seems like the hardest thing to do to remind yourself that in this moment, you are okay. Our nervous system is wired to protect us when we are in danger, and in this modern world, sometimes those dangers are more perceived than real. We are not being chased by a tiger, but our brains tell us we should release all of those same hormones and chemicals over the most trivial things anyway. Something as simple as dreading a meeting can send our nervous system into a frenzy. It is helpful in these moments to simply take a deep breath, and remember that you are physically okay. (And if you’re not physically okay, call an ambulance or go to the hospital! But, I hope that is obvious!) We often forget that we are biologically reacting to a modern world that is moving faster than the speed of light, and our chemical makeup really hasn’t had a chance to evolve to catch up with that fact a lot of the time. You may need to keep reminding yourself to focus on this one little fact, but that is also the start of learning meditation and mindfulness. Once you catch yourself spiraling into anxious thinking, simply reminding yourself that you are okay, it will eventually stick.
RUN YOUR DAY INSTEAD OF LETTING IT RUN YOU -
This is a big one, and once you start to notice it, it will really alter your days, and then eventually your life. Do you constantly feel like the day is rushing past you, you’re putting out fires left and right, and then something silly happens and you have a melt down? Or do you feel like you wake up with a plan and then you get side tracked by an email, and then instagram, and then someone calls, and then you forget what you were even doing, and you’re hungry, and it’s 4pm already? If this sounds familiar, you probably aren’t reminding yourself that not every single thing that happens in your day is level 5 urgent. If you don’t answer that text from your friend about her boss being super annoying, is she going to never speak to you again or be physically injured? Most likely, no. If you prioritize an actual lunch time so that you don’t end up drinking six cups of coffee at 2pm and then end up wide awake all night, that might not be the worst thing for your body, your mind, or even the other people in your world. Being hangry is real! Being someone who likes freedom in my day, I get it that having a regimented schedule might sound like a complete drag - especially if you run your own business and you’re a creative person! But this mindset shift is more about allowing the events of your day to flow on your time, instead of jump scare reacting to every single tiny thing over the course of the day. Prioritizing what you deem important, and communicating with others about those important things, are also a form of boundary setting. Oftentimes, people pleasers or those who have a different way of brain-ing in general, will lose track of themselves and their time. Setting boundaries with others and yourself is one of the first steps to taking back your power and your peace.
YOU HAVE TIME -
Another point related to the above tip - slowing down and realizing there is no time limit (I mean, unless there is for certain things like bills, work deadlines, etc.). I’m talking more about the timing of your whole life. This is not a race. This life is a dance. Realizing that there are no goal posts, mile markers, or obligatory time frames for pretty much anything to happen in life is a very freeing realization. There have been many a person who started over at 40, finally got their finances in order at 55, or figured out what their passion is at 60. There are so many examples of innovative and influential people who were flailing through life up until much later on this journey. Give yourself the kindness to stop beating yourself up that you “should” have this or that figured out or secured. I once heard the phrase - “stop shoulding all over yourself!” Once you realize you’re basing your happiness on all these so called “shoulds,” you start to realize that this is a form of negative self talk.
All of these tips all relate to one common theme - being kinder to yourself. This is one step towards shifting your mindset towards the life you picture in your head. You can be that person, and it starts with you loving and respecting YOU!